Mr Bernard Tan (not his real name), father of two and owner of one of Singapore's largest chain of social escort agencies says, "There is a huge misconception about the social escort scene in Singapore. Many people think that our girls are no different from those in Geylang, but they are hugely mistaken."

Indeed, going through the agency's catalogue, one can find girls from all walks of life - from the young, impressionable undergraduate to the frustrated housewife. Mr Tan is on a mission to change the impression of social escorts in Singapore - and promote the "healthier" form of interaction between lonely singles. He says, "What we promote at our agency is discreet companionship. You can take the girls out for dinner, to party, etc. What you do after that is something that is negotiated between two consenting adults. We don't need to know." The services do not come cheap though. An hour with a social escort from Mr Tan's agency costs anything from $250 to $300.

PAYING FOR COMPANIONSHIP?
Paying for companionship is not a new concept in Singapore - except that it is a subject that is not discussed openly in this country. Mr Tan bemoans the lack of "support" for social escort agencies. "Over the years, the agencies have acquired a bad name through bad press. People associate our services with those offered at Geylang - but that is not true. Our girls have both brains and beauty, and not all of them are into hanky panky. We like to see ourselves as providing discreet companionship for the aristocrats in Singapore." Discreet or otherwise, there is still a stigma attached to social escort services in Singapore, unlike in Hong Kong where, as Mr Tan points out, "escort services are wellrecognized and well-respected."

Stigma aside, how does the average Singaporean feel about engaging the services of a social escort to tide them through the lonely periods? "No way," says Samuel Ee, a financial consultant and bachelor in his 30s. "For that kind of money, I could go scuba diving in Tioman. Besides, I can always go drinking and clubbing with my mates - why should I pay for companionship?

Mr Tan Tze Ee, a civil servant in his 20s, prefers the more traditional route to meeting girls. "Through networking, common interests, at the gym, etc. Hiring a social escort is too extreme," he insists.

For women, the option is almost entirely non-existent as, Mr Tan reveals, "most of the male social escorts in Singapore are very ‘gay-ish' - the women can tell at a glance." Without an "aristocratic" class in Singapore, Mr Tan relies heavily on major conferences to bring the "big boys" in. "The World Trade Organisation meeting in Singapore was a windfall for the agencies here," he reveals.

MONEY CAN'T BUY LOVE
So have there been instances of money buying true love? Mr Tan chuckles, "Forget about the movie Pretty Woman. I always tell my girls to be realistic - if a client tells you he loves you, you must always remember how he found you. If he can hire your services today, he can always hire the services of another pretty girl down the road." Yet there have been one or two instances where a regular customer eventually builds enough chemistry with the girl to settle down with her.

Mr Tan recalls, "Yes, we had a customer who married one of our girls, and we wished her luck. We always wish our girls luck when they move on. As a boss, I don't want the girls to stay too long in this profession anyway. But there are more examples of broken marriages. We had a girl who married this ang moh fellow and they had two kids, but not long after, he started to stray and eventually they got divorced. 99 percent of the time this is how the relationships end up. Fortunately most of our girls are streetwise. They make their money and move on."

FESTIVE BLUES
Loneliness can be a huge driving force behind many of our irrational impulses, such as using the services of a social escort. But given the diversity of options today, one need no longer cozy up with the blues during the festive season.

Dating agencies are a great way to find a somewhat lasting companion and chase the blues away - especially since the stigma attached to such agencies has somewhat petered out over the years. Popular dating agency Drinks at eight trumps the fairytale marriage of Mr T.R. Sasha, Regional Director, Fire Pump Far East Pte Ltd and his wife Michelle, after a whirlwind courtship facilitated by the agency.

Mr Sasha writes, "But love, and nothing else, wins this time. The small and pretty Chinese girl meets the big size Indian man. And it is not about money, it is not about motive, it is not about sex... It is simply about love." Of course, not every blind date turns out to be a fairytale, but the odds of finding a perfect match are greater than if you were to use the services of a social escort agency. Drinks at eight is just one of the many agencies sharing its services on the umbrella website for singles, www.romancingsingapore.com, that is rapidly gaining new converts.
Romancing Singapore is a year-long festival that organises activities for singles to meet and network. These include mega dating events, seminars, island-wide treasure hunts, overseas cruise trips, etc.

WHO NEEDS A COMPANION ANYWAY?
Some people say the best way to find love is to give it - through simple gestures such as a friendly email or outreach activities such as volunteering. If you enjoy working with children and surrounding yourself with their cheerful voices and laughter, check out Singapore Children's Society's website at www.childrensociety.org.sg. If bringing a ray of sunshine into the lives of the elderly is more your cup of tea, find out more information from the People's Association Senior Citizen Network at www.pa.gov.sg/seniors.

The famous Unitarian poet May Sarton wrote: "Loneliness is the absence of self (and) solitude is the richness of the self." If you can find a way to enrich your sense of self - through outdoor activities, pottery, dance, etc., then you would have found the key to banishing loneliness from your life. So before you take the plunge and consider the services of a social escort or dating agency, consider this first, "Who are you and what do you exist for?" The answer may hold the key to your happiness.

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Article extracted from Healthy Times, Dec-Jan 08 issue